1. |
Eulogy
02:54
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You said as you left “Don’t walk in front of me…I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me… just be my friend.
You said: we live in the hearts we leave behind
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2. |
Ghost Writing
04:00
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Won’t you tell me again, how my heart’s in the right place, when it feels so lost, and my chest feels vacant.
So hang a sheet on me, to hide my loneliness, call me a ghost, because I am transparent
The marble floor is colder than I remember, and I tremble in that memory
If you stay we could stare at the ceiling, while we wait for it to fall and blanket us
Won’t you tell me again, how my heart’s in the right place, when it feels so lost, and my chest feels vacant.
So hang a sheet on me, to hide my loneliness, call me a ghost, because I am transparent
We’re lost in the walls of our ribs
Trying to find our way back
We’re wandering, like ghosts writing their wills.
Were we walking in circles (in circles)?
Dead and broken retracing all our steps
Were we meant to be hurtful (hurtful)?
Or spend our lives to replace the emptiness
That same ceiling is farther than I remember, and that makes me tremble
We’re lost in the walls of our ribs
Sadly staring at the marble floor where our bodies lay forgotten, even though everyone is there.
Won’t you tell me again, how my heart’s in the right place, when it feels so lost, and my chest feels vacant.
So hang a sheet on me, to hide my loneliness, call me a ghost, because we are transparent
Were we walking in circles (in circles)?
Dead and broken retracing all our steps
Were we meant to be hurtful (hurtful)?
Or spend our lives to replace the emptiness
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3. |
Wildfire
04:23
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Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror, that just feels like glass?
You don’t see a reflection that you can understand
Mom, dad, I just feel so shattered, why do people swear that I’m whole?
Please help me,
burn down the trees, covering me. Overgrowth is the only thing people seem to see.
It’s suffocating, I feel like I’m wearing someone else’s skin, and it always felt like an itch
Nothing makes you feel more like the whole world’s against you
I tried so hard to lock the door behind me, I was so afraid of what you’d think, this room is painted in things that don’t represent me
I don’t want to be carpeted in old names and memories
Please help me
burn down the trees, covering me. The overgrowth is the only thing people seem to see.
It’s suffocating, I feel like I’m wearing someone else’s skin, and it always felt like an itch
And I can’t sleep, when my mind is burning like a wildfire
And I might lose my way trying to put out the flames
But don’t be afraid, things always change
I wasn’t born to grow old, I was born to transition
Please help me
Burn down the trees, covering me. Overgrowth is the only thing people seem to see.
It’s suffocating, I feel like I’m wearing someone else’s skin, and it always felt like an itch
I don’t want to be carpeted in old names and memories
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4. |
The Devil & The Deep
04:53
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Impale me with the horns you found in the cruel sea
Carve a circle around my feet
So you can lay me on the floor and let my bones fall somewhere between the rock and the stone
You don’t have to see the way we’re caught between the devil and the deep
You can feel the weight pressed against your skin, sure of uncertainty
We opened wounds, like rivers the size of oceans
A vice we never devoted to
You feel like falling while on the ground
It makes me doubt myself, to watch me drown
You don’t have to see the way we’re caught between the devil and the deep
You can feel the weight pressed against your skin, sure of uncertainty
You don’t have to see the way we’re caught between the devil and the deep
You can feel the weight pressed against your skin, sure of uncertainty
Have you ever watched a candle fight against your breath caught in the jaws between life and death
We were made for uncertainty
We were made for uncertainty
You don’t have to see the way we’re caught between the devil and the deep
You can feel the weight pressed against your skin, sure of uncertainty
You don’t have to see the way we’re caught between the devil and the deep
You can feel the weight pressed against your skin, sure of uncertainty
I’ve seen the way you look at me, with eyes as empty as the deep
I’ll watch you from the cliffs, as they cut through the fog that brushed against your lips
The winds whispering in tongues, speaking words that steal the breath from your lungs
A language caught between the devil and the deep, based on a culture crafted in uncertainty
You’ll say goodbye and I’ll speak of love, we'll contradict the only thoughts we ever spoke of
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5. |
Hospice
05:14
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How many novels did they leave, sitting by your bedside?
I swear they must’ve covered up the floor
A sea of words you’d never read, as you sail away on the evening’s tide
Set for the shore of your chest of drawers.
You tried to put on your favourite shirt
but your little bones always seem to hurt
When you spend your days fast asleep on your deathbed
You try to stomach all your pills
Although you know it’s mostly pain killers
Your throat begs to swallow anything
I remember the things you’d say
“By next week I’ll be out of this place"
You never gave up confidence in anything
Living each day is a hard thing to embrace
You’d fall asleep in someone’s arms, never sure if you would wake up
You watch the window, to pass the time, between the vases, visitors, and the rain outside
It seems like a virga, when it falls, you’re on the verge of words but nothing comes
"Leave the curtains open, I don’t want to feel like I’m all alone.
I know i'm tired, but let them stay, I don’t want to miss anything, I don’t want to miss anyone, I don’t want to miss you all“
They say I’m not coming home again, I’m sleeping on my deathbed
“It feels like I’ve been sleeping for days
Even when my eyes are closed, I’m still listening"
Living each day is a hard thing to embrace
You’d fall asleep in someone’s arms, never sure if you would wake up
They say I’m not coming home again, I’m sleeping on my deathbed
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6. |
Cold Tea
03:53
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Let’s just talk, even for a moment, there’s just so much I need to say
We can just talk even about the weather, or whether or not, I can change
I’d like to say it worked, and that I’m feeling fine
I ripped my heart from my sleeve, I suppose now was the time
To grow into your shoes, and to pack up all of mine
So I can start walking barefoot, between the pavement and the pine
Like all my resolutions, they just grow cold
Like the tea sitting on the table, it just grows old
I’d like to say it worked, and that I’m feeling fine
I ripped my heart from my sleeve, I suppose now was the time
To grow into your shoes, and to pack up all of mine
So I can start walking barefoot, between the pavement and the pine
“I’m sorry I only have chamomile and earl grey, and there’s nothing to make it sweet, I forgot that you
prefer it that way, I always drink it straight, I guess that’s just like me”
Let’s just talk, even for a moment, there’s just so much I need to say
So much I need to say, don’t let me take this to my grave
it just grows cold
I’d like to say it worked, and that I’m feeling fine
I ripped my heart from my sleeve, I suppose now was the time
To grow into your shoes, and to pack up all of mine
So I can start walking barefoot, between the pavement and the pine
I’d like to say it worked, and that I’m feeling fine
To grow into your shoes, and to pack up all of mine
It just grows cold
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7. |
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Dearest friend, where do I begin? I’ve been writing this for months and months and it never seems to end
There’s always one more phrase, to take it’s place.
Where do I begin?
Where do I begin? I’m running from myself at the edge
Lighting fires in my lungs, to clear the smoke from my head
I always hate moments like this
Dearest friend, ever since you left, I’ve been trying to convince myself I shouldn’t wish I'd written this any sooner
cuz I’m still questioning if I dug up everything?
Where do I begin? I’m running from myself at the edge
Lighting fires in my lungs, to clear the smoke from my head
I always hate moments like this
Where do I begin?
No one ever wants to write this letter. God I hope I never have to write it again.
I’m caught in a whirlwind of thoughts and you are at the centre.
Where do I begin? I’m running from myself at the edge
Lighting fires in my lungs, to clear the smoke from my head
Would it have made it any easier?
and I hate that people have to ask if it was suicide, because they say people aren’t supposed to die at 25.
They said you could live forever if you really tried, But, you get what anybody gets, you get a lifetime
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8. |
Painted In Grey
03:21
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How long should you try and treat this?
When every word from everyone lashes at my wrists
Maybe I should’ve bathed in the sun, Maybe I never cared enough
When is giving up, giving in? Prescription, and symptoms, are just gorgeous synonyms
Paint me in the corner, staring at the walls, I feel punished for being present so maybe I shouldn’t be here at all
Cast me into this cold palette, paint me among the brambles,
Wounded with arms stretched apart
Tell me you’ve never felt like the medication doesn’t work
And I’ve never felt so guilty for being baptized in disbelief
When is giving up, giving in? Prescription, and symptoms, are just gorgeous synonyms
Paint me in the corner, staring at the walls, I feel punished for being present so maybe I shouldn’t be here at all
It’s like we’re painted in grey, we’re always searching for the words to say
running through the hallway, between sleep and the grave
It’s hard to shed my skin
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9. |
Communion
06:41
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I hoped I would never have to raise my glass in this circumstance, while my throat is parched, dry as a drought, and it doesn’t pass and I'm holding back, the wolf known as grief that left his pack, he stands solitary over this lonely mass, His jaws seem to shroud us in sobering thoughts, that linger on and on like double knots, he watches us closely from the pews, claws and coat spread like a cross, to blanket us from the sorrows that always come with loss.
We hold our glasses high
We hold our glasses high, like the chalice at the alter
We hold our glasses high, like they were made of gold
We hold our glasses high, like the chalice at the alter
We hold our glasses high, like they were made of gold
My thoughts are blank, there’s just so many things I want to say
I let my words wander, I’m sure they’ll find their way
We hold our glasses high, like the chalice at the alter
We hold our glasses high, like they were made of gold
Now I’m standing with my glass raised to the ceiling, surrounded by well-wishers that are wishing for healing, waiting to hear me to build a chapel of worthy thoughts and precious feelings. I breathe deep, and I give thanks for what you meant to me.
We hold our glasses high, like the chalice at the alter
We hold our glasses high, like they were made of gold
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10. |
Blindfolds
04:33
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I remember you told me to keep my head high, even when you had to fight with tired eyes
You never left my mind, even when you told me you may not make it home
You never left my mind, even when I knew you were saying goodbye
I remember you told me to keep moving forward, even when you spoke with trembling words
You never let yourself wear a blindfold, you saw the beauty in life even when I won’t
You never left my mind, even when you told me you may not make it home
You never left my mind, even when I knew you were saying goodbye
I wish I’d had the strength to hold on for just a little longer, when I held your hand I swore that I saw her
The person you’d been leading you home. I wish I’d taken off the blindfold to see who it was
You never left my mind, even when you told me you may not make it home
You never left my mind, even when I knew you were saying goodbye
You never left my mind, even when you told me you may not make it home
You never left my mind, even when I knew I’d see you again
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Vaultry Victoria, British Columbia
Emotional and melodic alt rock from Canada.
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