Eulogy

by Vaultry

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Ataraxia
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Ataraxia A beautiful tale of loss and friendships past. Absolutely incredible, tear-jerking on a full listen, with memorable moments in every single track. RIP. Favorite track: A Letter to a Dead Friend.
hoyholyhoy
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hoyholyhoy Beautiful record that expresses the grief of a lost friend. Lyrically and sonically top tier. Favorite track: Painted In Grey.
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about

'Eulogy' is the debut LP by Canadian Alt-Rock act: Vaultry. The album centers around the story of late guitarist: Chasen Fraser and his life growing up Trans-gender, as well as his relationship with the members of Vaultry up until he ended his struggle with Lymphoma in 2016.

The album is dedicated to him and to everyone else who are fighting cancer.

credits

released January 12, 2017

Produced by: Leith Hynds, Adam Sutherland, and Ben Erikson.
Engineer: Ben Erikson
Mixing Engineer: Adam Sutherland
Mastering: Kris Crummett
Recorded at: Infiniti Studios (Victoria, BC)
Mastered at: Interlace Audio (Portland, OR)

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about

Vaultry Victoria, British Columbia

A brooding, emotional, and melodic alt rock band from Victoria, BC. The group prides itself on its atmospheric textures, passionate vocals, and relentless rhythm and drum sections.

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Track Name: Eulogy
You said as you left “Don’t walk in front of me…I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead.

Walk beside me… just be my friend.

You said: we live in the hearts we leave behind
Track Name: Ghost Writing
Won’t you tell me again, how my heart’s in the right place, when it feels so lost, and my chest feels vacant.
So hang a sheet on me, to hide my loneliness, call me a ghost, because I am transparent

The marble floor is colder than I remember, and I tremble in that memory

If you stay we could stare at the ceiling, while we wait for it to fall and blanket us

Won’t you tell me again, how my heart’s in the right place, when it feels so lost, and my chest feels vacant.
So hang a sheet on me, to hide my loneliness, call me a ghost, because I am transparent

We’re lost in the walls of our ribs
Trying to find our way back
We’re wandering, like ghosts writing their wills.

Were we walking in circles (in circles)?
Dead and broken retracing all our steps
Were we meant to be hurtful (hurtful)?
Or spend our lives to replace the emptiness

That same ceiling is farther than I remember, and that makes me tremble

We’re lost in the walls of our ribs
Sadly staring at the marble floor where our bodies lay forgotten, even though everyone is there.

Won’t you tell me again, how my heart’s in the right place, when it feels so lost, and my chest feels vacant.
So hang a sheet on me, to hide my loneliness, call me a ghost, because we are transparent

Were we walking in circles (in circles)?
Dead and broken retracing all our steps
Were we meant to be hurtful (hurtful)?
Or spend our lives to replace the emptiness
Track Name: Wildfire
Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror, that just feels like glass?
You don’t see a reflection that you can understand

Mom, dad, I just feel so shattered, why do people swear that I’m whole?

Please help me,
burn down the trees, covering me. Overgrowth is the only thing people seem to see.
It’s suffocating, I feel like I’m wearing someone else’s skin, and it always felt like an itch

Nothing makes you feel more like the whole world’s against you

I tried so hard to lock the door behind me, I was so afraid of what you’d think, this room is painted in things that don’t represent me

I don’t want to be carpeted in old names and memories

Please help me
burn down the trees, covering me. The overgrowth is the only thing people seem to see.
It’s suffocating, I feel like I’m wearing someone else’s skin, and it always felt like an itch

And I can’t sleep, when my mind is burning like a wildfire
And I might lose my way trying to put out the flames
But don’t be afraid, things always change

I wasn’t born to grow old, I was born to transition

Please help me
Burn down the trees, covering me. Overgrowth is the only thing people seem to see.
It’s suffocating, I feel like I’m wearing someone else’s skin, and it always felt like an itch

I don’t want to be carpeted in old names and memories
Track Name: The Devil & The Deep
Impale me with the horns you found in the cruel sea
Carve a circle around my feet
So you can lay me on the floor and let my bones fall somewhere between the rock and the stone

You don’t have to see the way we’re caught between the devil and the deep
You can feel the weight pressed against your skin, sure of uncertainty

We opened wounds, like rivers the size of oceans
A vice we never devoted to
You feel like falling while on the ground
It makes me doubt myself, to watch me drown

You don’t have to see the way we’re caught between the devil and the deep
You can feel the weight pressed against your skin, sure of uncertainty
You don’t have to see the way we’re caught between the devil and the deep
You can feel the weight pressed against your skin, sure of uncertainty

Have you ever watched a candle fight against your breath caught in the jaws between life and death
We were made for uncertainty

We were made for uncertainty

You don’t have to see the way we’re caught between the devil and the deep
You can feel the weight pressed against your skin, sure of uncertainty
You don’t have to see the way we’re caught between the devil and the deep
You can feel the weight pressed against your skin, sure of uncertainty
I’ve seen the way you look at me, with eyes as empty as the deep

I’ll watch you from the cliffs, as they cut through the fog that brushed against your lips
The winds whispering in tongues, speaking words that steal the breath from your lungs
A language caught between the devil and the deep, based on a culture crafted in uncertainty
You’ll say goodbye and I’ll speak of love, we'll contradict the only thoughts we ever spoke of
Track Name: Hospice
How many novels did they leave, sitting by your bedside?
I swear they must’ve covered up the floor
A sea of words you’d never read, as you sail away on the evening’s tide
Set for the shore of your chest of drawers.

You tried to put on your favourite shirt
but your little bones always seem to hurt
When you spend your days fast asleep on your deathbed
You try to stomach all your pills
Although you know it’s mostly pain killers
Your throat begs to swallow anything

I remember the things you’d say
“By next week I’ll be out of this place"
You never gave up confidence in anything

Living each day is a hard thing to embrace
You’d fall asleep in someone’s arms, never sure if you would wake up

You watch the window, to pass the time, between the vases, visitors, and the rain outside
It seems like a virga, when it falls, you’re on the verge of words but nothing comes

"Leave the curtains open, I don’t want to feel like I’m all alone.
I know i'm tired, but let them stay, I don’t want to miss anything, I don’t want to miss anyone, I don’t want to miss you all“

They say I’m not coming home again, I’m sleeping on my deathbed

“It feels like I’ve been sleeping for days
Even when my eyes are closed, I’m still listening"

Living each day is a hard thing to embrace
You’d fall asleep in someone’s arms, never sure if you would wake up

They say I’m not coming home again, I’m sleeping on my deathbed
Track Name: Cold Tea
Let’s just talk, even for a moment, there’s just so much I need to say
We can just talk even about the weather, or whether or not, I can change

I’d like to say it worked, and that I’m feeling fine
I ripped my heart from my sleeve, I suppose now was the time
To grow into your shoes, and to pack up all of mine
So I can start walking barefoot, between the pavement and the pine

Like all my resolutions, they just grow cold
Like the tea sitting on the table, it just grows old

I’d like to say it worked, and that I’m feeling fine
I ripped my heart from my sleeve, I suppose now was the time
To grow into your shoes, and to pack up all of mine
So I can start walking barefoot, between the pavement and the pine

“I’m sorry I only have chamomile and earl grey, and there’s nothing to make it sweet, I forgot that you
prefer it that way, I always drink it straight, I guess that’s just like me”

Let’s just talk, even for a moment, there’s just so much I need to say

So much I need to say, don’t let me take this to my grave

it just grows cold

I’d like to say it worked, and that I’m feeling fine
I ripped my heart from my sleeve, I suppose now was the time
To grow into your shoes, and to pack up all of mine
So I can start walking barefoot, between the pavement and the pine
I’d like to say it worked, and that I’m feeling fine
To grow into your shoes, and to pack up all of mine

It just grows cold
Track Name: A Letter to a Dead Friend
Dearest friend, where do I begin? I’ve been writing this for months and months and it never seems to end
There’s always one more phrase, to take it’s place.

Where do I begin?

Where do I begin? I’m running from myself at the edge
Lighting fires in my lungs, to clear the smoke from my head
I always hate moments like this

Dearest friend, ever since you left, I’ve been trying to convince myself I shouldn’t wish I'd written this any sooner

cuz I’m still questioning if I dug up everything?

Where do I begin? I’m running from myself at the edge
Lighting fires in my lungs, to clear the smoke from my head
I always hate moments like this

Where do I begin?

No one ever wants to write this letter. God I hope I never have to write it again.
I’m caught in a whirlwind of thoughts and you are at the centre.

Where do I begin? I’m running from myself at the edge
Lighting fires in my lungs, to clear the smoke from my head
Would it have made it any easier?

and I hate that people have to ask if it was suicide, because they say people aren’t supposed to die at 25.
They said you could live forever if you really tried, But, you get what anybody gets, you get a lifetime
Track Name: Painted In Grey
How long should you try and treat this?
When every word from everyone lashes at my wrists
Maybe I should’ve bathed in the sun, Maybe I never cared enough

When is giving up, giving in? Prescription, and symptoms, are just gorgeous synonyms
Paint me in the corner, staring at the walls, I feel punished for being present so maybe I shouldn’t be here at all

Cast me into this cold palette, paint me among the brambles,
Wounded with arms stretched apart
Tell me you’ve never felt like the medication doesn’t work

And I’ve never felt so guilty for being baptized in disbelief

When is giving up, giving in? Prescription, and symptoms, are just gorgeous synonyms
Paint me in the corner, staring at the walls, I feel punished for being present so maybe I shouldn’t be here at all

It’s like we’re painted in grey, we’re always searching for the words to say
running through the hallway, between sleep and the grave

It’s hard to shed my skin
Track Name: Communion
I hoped I would never have to raise my glass in this circumstance, while my throat is parched, dry as a drought, and it doesn’t pass and I'm holding back, the wolf known as grief that left his pack, he stands solitary over this lonely mass, His jaws seem to shroud us in sobering thoughts, that linger on and on like double knots, he watches us closely from the pews, claws and coat spread like a cross, to blanket us from the sorrows that always come with loss.

We hold our glasses high

We hold our glasses high, like the chalice at the alter
We hold our glasses high, like they were made of gold

We hold our glasses high, like the chalice at the alter
We hold our glasses high, like they were made of gold

My thoughts are blank, there’s just so many things I want to say
I let my words wander, I’m sure they’ll find their way

We hold our glasses high, like the chalice at the alter
We hold our glasses high, like they were made of gold

Now I’m standing with my glass raised to the ceiling, surrounded by well-wishers that are wishing for healing, waiting to hear me to build a chapel of worthy thoughts and precious feelings. I breathe deep, and I give thanks for what you meant to me.

We hold our glasses high, like the chalice at the alter
We hold our glasses high, like they were made of gold
Track Name: Blindfolds
I remember you told me to keep my head high, even when you had to fight with tired eyes

You never left my mind, even when you told me you may not make it home
You never left my mind, even when I knew you were saying goodbye

I remember you told me to keep moving forward, even when you spoke with trembling words

You never let yourself wear a blindfold, you saw the beauty in life even when I won’t

You never left my mind, even when you told me you may not make it home
You never left my mind, even when I knew you were saying goodbye

I wish I’d had the strength to hold on for just a little longer, when I held your hand I swore that I saw her
The person you’d been leading you home. I wish I’d taken off the blindfold to see who it was

You never left my mind, even when you told me you may not make it home
You never left my mind, even when I knew you were saying goodbye
You never left my mind, even when you told me you may not make it home
You never left my mind, even when I knew I’d see you again